Voices

When I talk to myself
In my mind
There is always so much noise
So much damn noise
It almost never stops
It only stops
If I'm scared
For whatever reason
All the noise stops
Stops dead
And it's so distracting when it does that
That I can't pay attention to whatever noise or movement scared me
But I still always know what it was.

It's distracting too with all the noise
I can hardly hear myself
I mean
I can hardly hear the thoughts I want to hear
There is constant singing
And a metallic sounding voice
And a dark sound to the right
And so much more
But I'm used to it
I can do things with the noise
Or I can listen to music
And the noise stops
But I can think
Somewhat
There's only so much thinking you can do over music with lyrics
Because lyrics make them silent
Sometimes I have to stop the music
To sift through my thoughts
Or to do math
And I can hear at the edge of my mind
The noise rising
But it lies still
It waits
For a while