Jacob - Not him

My heart, beating hard in my chest. Could he hear it? He must feel it. He didn't care. I didn't dare utter a sound. Like he wanted me to, I was silent. I grimaced as he unclothed my shoulder and kissed it. Before biting into it. I inhaled sharply

"Shh..." I bit my lip to keep a cry in.

Why was this happening to me? His lips brushed the length, from my shoulder, across my collarbone, to the center of my neck. He kissed the hollow, and breathed me in, making his way up. I swallowed, and his lips pressed against me, harder, for an instant. I could feel the tip of his nose, the only part of him that was cold.

I moved my face out of his way. He couldn't have my lips. I didn't want him to kiss me; he wasn't doing anything that I could love him for. And yet, if he was doing this, wasn't it for my own good? He loved me. He'd told me so. He'd shown me. Everyday, he didn't stop until I was safe. And, I was safe.

But not here.

Not alone with him. He wasn't himself. The Other breathed into my ear. My eyes, I held them more tightly shut; I didn't dare look into his eyes. I didn't dare.

Make it stop...

That's not gonna happen.

My clothes came off. Right along with his.

Why...

I fell asleep.

Slept

I don't remember

I can't remember

He won't let me.

He wen't through it for me.

But he won't let me see, what I can't take.

Little

Pieces

Snippets

Nightmares

He gives me

I don't want them

So he keeps them

Until I can see them

Until I can remember

Until I'm ready to remember

Why I can feel his nose and lips running over my skin

Why I know what his hot breath on my face feels like

Why I can feel this

Why can I feel this?